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bagellie:

benefits of being friends with me

  • shitty jokes whenever you ask for them
  • shitty jokes whenever you don’t ask for them

grumpysalmon:

How many people have broken into a store late at night to steal a cook book because they were hungry and wanted to know how to cook the perfect bean casserole? I’ll give you a hint: please bail me out of jail

plunders:

raise your hand if you’re a lil bit of an asshole

poyzn:

Animals that are little awesome.

lion:

lion:

grass10:

grass10:

my brother is upset because he did not win the bug catching contest

my brother is in the United States Marine Corps

pussyclestroyer:

sexting like

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